Here's something I've noticed. I'll be doing work at my desk, scribbling arcane math or just making a lesson plan. I'll wad up a piece of paper, turn around, launch if toward the trash... and then sit there, watching it fly through the air, all other productivity stopped until it lands.
Just on the basis of time, it would be more efficient of me to toss the wadded up paper and immediately turn back to my work. If the paper misses the bin, that's no big deal, I could pick it up later. But that doesn't seem to be how my mind's programmed, at least not by default.
The same thing goes for any situation where I set some process in motion, after which motion it leaves my immediate control. For example, I shut down the computer, then watch dumbly as the windows close and the taskbar disappears and so on, until the monitor finally shuts off and the computer fan goes quiet.
By analogy, I refer to such an event as, "The Throw". It really becomes evident in Ultimate Frisbee, and I think playing Ultimate Frisbee is partly what made me aware of the phenomenon. In Ultimate Frisbee, your team tries to get the frisbee into the enemy goal. The only rules are, if you have the frisbee you must stand still, and if you drop the frisbee the other team gets it. So you have to work with your teammates, throwing the frisbee from one to another while keeping the enemy from catching it. Until, hopefully, you throw it to a teammate standing in the enemy goal.
And, of course, when I'd throw the frisbee, force of habit would make me stand there like a statue and watch until its flight finished. As if by watching it I could telekinetically control it or something? Of course my standing there watching the frisbee did nothing to move the team toward victory.
A much better tactic is to start running as soon as the frisbee's in the air. If you work well with a team-mate, you can get a "run" going where it's as if you were running direct to the goal with the frisbee: you throw, then start running, so there's almost no delay between your friend catching the disk, and your friend returning it to you. Pulled off well, this can be a deadly attack if the other team isn't prepared for it.
"The throw" comes up in sparring and martial arts as well. The novice fighter launches an attack, then waits to see what happens. Even though he has the initiative in a technical sense, he's giving the initiative to the enemy by "waiting for the frisbee to land".
In standup comedy, a novice comedian will say a joke, then wait for the audience's response. If the joke falls short, he suffers an awkward silence. Better to drop the joke and immediately move on. If the joke falls flat, a really skilled presenter won't even let the audience realize it was a punchline.
It's really all part of the more general distinction between response and reaction. A distinction taught in martial arts and competitive sports. Response is a natural, effortless reply to the opponent. No thought goes into it, at least not at a conscious level: the skilled martial artist doesn't even think about blocking, she's so well-trained, her body just makes the block automatically. Reaction, on the other hand, is clumsy and effortful. Reaction is when I don't really know what to expect from my action, and I have to wait and see the result before I can proceed. In social situations, reaction is what causes people to seem "try hard".
If you read scripts for movies or dramas, sometimes you'll see something like this:
In the movie, that middle line translates into ACTOR B doing a double take, maybe a shocked look or a look of surprise, etc. Very quick usually, but it's there and you can learn to see it when you watch movies. It's a beat of reaction.
When I played Ultimate Frisbee for awhile, I stopped pausing at "The Throw" after awhile. I stopped "reacting" and switched to "responding". Needless to say, I got much better at the game. When you play a brand new video game, at first you're not sure what everything does, so when you use a new item/skill/etc., you freeze until you get a sense what it does. Eventually, you memorize what the items and skills do, and then you'll start using them without missing a beat, tossing a grenade into the enemy fort and just keeping on running, or whatever. If you have your picture taken often enough, you stop reacting to the camera, and become more photogenic. I guess that, if my work involved throwing enough wadded up papers at the trashcan, eventually I'd stop pausing every time, and just start tossing them over my shoulder!
It all comes down to "practice makes perfect" once again. People who are good at socializing are that way because of practice, not because they were born that way or because they read some self-help book. Talk to enough people and a person becomes less reactive and more responsive, as his or her subconscious mind absorbs new situations and new conversations.
I'm always looking for ways to be less reactive and more responsive. Take a look at some of the things you do, and see if you can find anywhere where you could benefit from being more responsive and less reactive.
If you like this article, please give it some love in StumbleUpon. Thanks :)
Here are a few other articles I wrote. I hope your "reaction" to them will be pleasant, lol...
Fighting Music Addiction: An Experiment
The Golden Rule of Language Learning
Levels and Experience Points in Real Life
A Modern Version of the Lord's Prayer
Just on the basis of time, it would be more efficient of me to toss the wadded up paper and immediately turn back to my work. If the paper misses the bin, that's no big deal, I could pick it up later. But that doesn't seem to be how my mind's programmed, at least not by default.
The same thing goes for any situation where I set some process in motion, after which motion it leaves my immediate control. For example, I shut down the computer, then watch dumbly as the windows close and the taskbar disappears and so on, until the monitor finally shuts off and the computer fan goes quiet.
By analogy, I refer to such an event as, "The Throw". It really becomes evident in Ultimate Frisbee, and I think playing Ultimate Frisbee is partly what made me aware of the phenomenon. In Ultimate Frisbee, your team tries to get the frisbee into the enemy goal. The only rules are, if you have the frisbee you must stand still, and if you drop the frisbee the other team gets it. So you have to work with your teammates, throwing the frisbee from one to another while keeping the enemy from catching it. Until, hopefully, you throw it to a teammate standing in the enemy goal.
And, of course, when I'd throw the frisbee, force of habit would make me stand there like a statue and watch until its flight finished. As if by watching it I could telekinetically control it or something? Of course my standing there watching the frisbee did nothing to move the team toward victory.
A much better tactic is to start running as soon as the frisbee's in the air. If you work well with a team-mate, you can get a "run" going where it's as if you were running direct to the goal with the frisbee: you throw, then start running, so there's almost no delay between your friend catching the disk, and your friend returning it to you. Pulled off well, this can be a deadly attack if the other team isn't prepared for it.
"The throw" comes up in sparring and martial arts as well. The novice fighter launches an attack, then waits to see what happens. Even though he has the initiative in a technical sense, he's giving the initiative to the enemy by "waiting for the frisbee to land".
In standup comedy, a novice comedian will say a joke, then wait for the audience's response. If the joke falls short, he suffers an awkward silence. Better to drop the joke and immediately move on. If the joke falls flat, a really skilled presenter won't even let the audience realize it was a punchline.
It's really all part of the more general distinction between response and reaction. A distinction taught in martial arts and competitive sports. Response is a natural, effortless reply to the opponent. No thought goes into it, at least not at a conscious level: the skilled martial artist doesn't even think about blocking, she's so well-trained, her body just makes the block automatically. Reaction, on the other hand, is clumsy and effortful. Reaction is when I don't really know what to expect from my action, and I have to wait and see the result before I can proceed. In social situations, reaction is what causes people to seem "try hard".
If you read scripts for movies or dramas, sometimes you'll see something like this:
ACTOR A: Hey, look at this.
(a beat)
ACTOR B: Whoah.
In the movie, that middle line translates into ACTOR B doing a double take, maybe a shocked look or a look of surprise, etc. Very quick usually, but it's there and you can learn to see it when you watch movies. It's a beat of reaction.
When I played Ultimate Frisbee for awhile, I stopped pausing at "The Throw" after awhile. I stopped "reacting" and switched to "responding". Needless to say, I got much better at the game. When you play a brand new video game, at first you're not sure what everything does, so when you use a new item/skill/etc., you freeze until you get a sense what it does. Eventually, you memorize what the items and skills do, and then you'll start using them without missing a beat, tossing a grenade into the enemy fort and just keeping on running, or whatever. If you have your picture taken often enough, you stop reacting to the camera, and become more photogenic. I guess that, if my work involved throwing enough wadded up papers at the trashcan, eventually I'd stop pausing every time, and just start tossing them over my shoulder!
It all comes down to "practice makes perfect" once again. People who are good at socializing are that way because of practice, not because they were born that way or because they read some self-help book. Talk to enough people and a person becomes less reactive and more responsive, as his or her subconscious mind absorbs new situations and new conversations.
I'm always looking for ways to be less reactive and more responsive. Take a look at some of the things you do, and see if you can find anywhere where you could benefit from being more responsive and less reactive.
If you like this article, please give it some love in StumbleUpon. Thanks :)
Here are a few other articles I wrote. I hope your "reaction" to them will be pleasant, lol...
Fighting Music Addiction: An Experiment
The Golden Rule of Language Learning
Levels and Experience Points in Real Life
A Modern Version of the Lord's Prayer
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