Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The Social Rule of Assumptions

When we interact with people socially, we have a tendency to assume they agree with us about certain things. A good example is politics. If you're in the U.S. and you're a Republican or a Democrat, you probably have a tendency to assume people you meet are the same. Maybe certain people with certain characteristics, you won't assume they are the same (a Democrat might not assume that a Texan is another Democrat). But in the big picture, your initial assumptions of what political stripes your acquaintances bear, will be slanted toward your own political stripes.

One big application is to avoid bringing up certain subjects around new acquaintances. Avoid bringing up politics, and most the people will give you the benefit of the doubt. Avoid bringing up religion, and it's the same, unless maybe your behavior makes your religion blatantly obvious. In a meeting, where people are bitterly divided by an issue, make your own remarks ambiguous and don't take a side, and you'll avoid alienating half your colleagues.

Of course, this is a somewhat pragmatic, Machiavellian application, one that I feel I've been growing out of. Lately I have a desire for more sincere, direct interactions with people. I want to talk to people to become closer to them and to share this experience of humanity with them, not to squeeze some use or gain out of them. That includes being very forthcoming and unapologetic about issues (in case you're wondering, I'm an active Democrat and my religious beliefs are constantly evolving, based on many things and not on any single book or authority figure).

It's kind of a gamble. If your beliefs could cost you you job, say, then you gotta ask which is more important. Your career? Or an honest, open relationship with humanity? The answer is subjective, I think. Priorities change as you learn and grow, I know mine sure have. Anyway, it could back-backfire, say for instance, you become known as a very honest truthful person and it actually helps you get ahead in your job. Assuming your job is one where honesty and truth are valued (and if it's not, maybe you should switch).

(This article is shorter than the ones I normally write. That's because I'm experimenting right now with writing shorter, less fleshed-out articles, in order to explore perfectionism in myself.)

Here are some other articles I wrote. I assume you'll love these articles as much as I do...
The Mirror Model of Social Interaction
Activism Goes Away After Graduation
Words'll Break My Bones But Sticks And Stones'll Never Hurt Me
How Fashion Works

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