What's the difference between a good day and a great, angels-walking-the-earth, badassly excellent day?? ANSWER: Music! Music has been called the language of emotion, as well as the language of love. You can't help but FEEL GOOD when you listen to your favorite music. If you work in an office, or live with people, or anything like that, you need headphones so you can listen to music 25 hours a day.
There are five fundamental QUALITIES that a good pair of headphones absolutely must have. Let's discuss them, when you acquire a pair of earphones with these qualities your own quality of life will shoot up 800% and you'll learn how to breath fire.
QUALITY #1: Ear comfort. People take this for granted til they get an uncomfortable pair of headphones. Then they see the truth that ear comfort is absolutely important in headphones. People have literally died from having headphones too uncomfortable, in the medical literature this is referred to as "Rigor Audio-Mortis", you may have seen it featured in a recent episode of CSI. It ain't pretty.
Important traits to look for in comfy headphones. The "size" should be adjustable, usually by pulling down on the ear pieces. This is important because different people have different distance from their ears to the top of their skulls. The headphones should be light weight. A heavy set of headphones can pull down on your ears and there have been documented cases of peoples ears falling off when this happens. Finally, avoid the type where you insert a little plug in your ears. Unless you get them tailor made specifically for your ear, these are extremely unhealthy and will probably give you ear cancer. Yeah that might mean giving up your trendy default ipod headphones, that's good, now you're no longer a dancing monkey silhouette doing commercials for apple.
QUALITY #2: Volume control. Usually this comes in the form of a dial attached to the cord, but I've also seen cases where it's on the earpieces themselves. It's essential that there by a volume control you can reach with no physical effort. This is because when you're functioning in the real world, you want to adjust volume often and it takes too long to go to the windows "volume control" or whip your ipod out of your snatch. People tend to underestimate the important of volume control. When you've enjoyed a volume control dial for awhile, the motion becomes subconscious and it's almost as if you're controlling the volume with your mind. Way better than the alternative. Another important reason to have volume control is because often different songs play at different base volumes, especially if you watch music videos on YouTube.
Another great thing about a volume control dial is that if someone starts talking to you you can very unobtrusively lower the volume. Or lower it if you want to hear someone else's conversation in the office. Or raise it if there's an irritating noise. Also a neat trick is to quickly lower the volume all the way down if you're temporarily taking the headphones off but leave the music running. This is good because a lot more noise leaks from headphones when they're not on your ears, so you're not blaring your music to the whole office every time you take a leak.
QUALITY #3: Cord length (for computer headphones, less important for portable music players). It's nice if you can walk around your office or house or whatever without taking the headphones off. Personally I like to dance or even juggle while I listen to music and I couldn't do this with those lame four foot cords you always see. Here's a tip, if at all possible get headphones with a short cord but buy a cord extension. This is because in rare situations a short cord is better. More importantly, a general rule of thumb with headphones is, the cord always breaks before anything else. So if you're using a cord extension, you're only down like <10$. Congratulations, thanks to me your headphone breaking problem is virtually solved.
A note about wireless headphones. These aren't worth the money, the signal strength is extremely erratic and you always have to be adjusting the device that sends out the signals. They've also been known to interfere with/get interfered with by other signals in the room. A normal pair of headphones with a good long cord extension gives you a lot of freedom.
QUALITY #4: Noise cancellation. This works both ways, you want headphones which can drown out noises from your environment, but you also don't want to "leak" noise. Some headphones have so much leak you may as well just use speakers.
Physicists have spent a lot of research and money trying to discover perfect "Black Headphones". This is a hypothetical device, a set of headphones with 100% noise cancellation and absolutely 0 leakage. This is a device right up there with perpetually motion machines, time machines, and artificial intelligence. If you can figure out how to make the legendary Black Headphones, you'll be famous and all your high school crushes will fall desperately in love with you.
Quality #5: Stylishness/SEXiness. At least for girls, half the point of headphones is screen out awkward guys walking up and meekly trying to hit on them, and filter it down to the confident badasses who aren't afraid of some plastic. That plan kinda backfires if your headphones make you look like a space alien or an ipod commercial. The specific look of the headphones depends on your style. Big huge headphones can work well for guys, take a look at the music video of "Sandstorm" by Darude to see an example of this. But it depends on your style. For some guys, smaller more elegant headphones are key. Make sure the cord/earpiece color doesn't clash TOO badly with your clothes or, again, ipod commercial. One strategy that works for some guys is to have matching shoes/belt/accessories/headphone/cord and have the shirt/pants be different. If all else fails, go to a mall and ask at least 10 people of the opposite sex for their sincere opinion.
My personal headphones right now are the KOSS UR-40 model. They're light as a feather and so comfortable I can hardly tell they're on. They have decent noise cancellation, I took them to a physics lab for testing and they came out as 83% Black Headphone. They include a kind of headband type thing instead of the usual boring plastic, it's hard to describe so I won't even try, but suffice it to say, these headphones are S.E.X.Y. However, all that said, they're just temporary and I wouldn't recommend them to you, cuz they have no built in volume control. A fatal flaw! which means my quest for the perfect headphones will continue.
Socrates once said, "Noone really knows anything for certain, but at least we can enjoy good headphones". It's a little known fact, but Socrates used Sony headphones. In fact in his "Conversations", Plato writes about how Socrates listened to some gothic death metal when they executed him with hemlock, "and as those sublime ear devices pumped the music into his ears, a profound smile of contentment lighted on his face."
HISTORY AND TRIVIA
Headphones were invented in the year 900 BC by the famous Cretian scientist Daedalus. They were spread around the world by the explorer MArco Polo. The period just after the sack of Constantinople has been called "the dark age of headphones" because the barbarian rule ushered in a general shortage of the precious devices. Headphones are referenced 63 times in The Bible.
May the power of the Glow guide your path to the perfect pair of headphones just right for you.
Written by Glowing Face Man
Here are some other articles I've written:
The Two Types of Music
The Sound of Your Native Tongue
Typing Faster in T9Word
There are five fundamental QUALITIES that a good pair of headphones absolutely must have. Let's discuss them, when you acquire a pair of earphones with these qualities your own quality of life will shoot up 800% and you'll learn how to breath fire.
QUALITY #1: Ear comfort. People take this for granted til they get an uncomfortable pair of headphones. Then they see the truth that ear comfort is absolutely important in headphones. People have literally died from having headphones too uncomfortable, in the medical literature this is referred to as "Rigor Audio-Mortis", you may have seen it featured in a recent episode of CSI. It ain't pretty.
Important traits to look for in comfy headphones. The "size" should be adjustable, usually by pulling down on the ear pieces. This is important because different people have different distance from their ears to the top of their skulls. The headphones should be light weight. A heavy set of headphones can pull down on your ears and there have been documented cases of peoples ears falling off when this happens. Finally, avoid the type where you insert a little plug in your ears. Unless you get them tailor made specifically for your ear, these are extremely unhealthy and will probably give you ear cancer. Yeah that might mean giving up your trendy default ipod headphones, that's good, now you're no longer a dancing monkey silhouette doing commercials for apple.
QUALITY #2: Volume control. Usually this comes in the form of a dial attached to the cord, but I've also seen cases where it's on the earpieces themselves. It's essential that there by a volume control you can reach with no physical effort. This is because when you're functioning in the real world, you want to adjust volume often and it takes too long to go to the windows "volume control" or whip your ipod out of your snatch. People tend to underestimate the important of volume control. When you've enjoyed a volume control dial for awhile, the motion becomes subconscious and it's almost as if you're controlling the volume with your mind. Way better than the alternative. Another important reason to have volume control is because often different songs play at different base volumes, especially if you watch music videos on YouTube.
Another great thing about a volume control dial is that if someone starts talking to you you can very unobtrusively lower the volume. Or lower it if you want to hear someone else's conversation in the office. Or raise it if there's an irritating noise. Also a neat trick is to quickly lower the volume all the way down if you're temporarily taking the headphones off but leave the music running. This is good because a lot more noise leaks from headphones when they're not on your ears, so you're not blaring your music to the whole office every time you take a leak.
QUALITY #3: Cord length (for computer headphones, less important for portable music players). It's nice if you can walk around your office or house or whatever without taking the headphones off. Personally I like to dance or even juggle while I listen to music and I couldn't do this with those lame four foot cords you always see. Here's a tip, if at all possible get headphones with a short cord but buy a cord extension. This is because in rare situations a short cord is better. More importantly, a general rule of thumb with headphones is, the cord always breaks before anything else. So if you're using a cord extension, you're only down like <10$. Congratulations, thanks to me your headphone breaking problem is virtually solved.
A note about wireless headphones. These aren't worth the money, the signal strength is extremely erratic and you always have to be adjusting the device that sends out the signals. They've also been known to interfere with/get interfered with by other signals in the room. A normal pair of headphones with a good long cord extension gives you a lot of freedom.
QUALITY #4: Noise cancellation. This works both ways, you want headphones which can drown out noises from your environment, but you also don't want to "leak" noise. Some headphones have so much leak you may as well just use speakers.
Physicists have spent a lot of research and money trying to discover perfect "Black Headphones". This is a hypothetical device, a set of headphones with 100% noise cancellation and absolutely 0 leakage. This is a device right up there with perpetually motion machines, time machines, and artificial intelligence. If you can figure out how to make the legendary Black Headphones, you'll be famous and all your high school crushes will fall desperately in love with you.
Quality #5: Stylishness/SEXiness. At least for girls, half the point of headphones is screen out awkward guys walking up and meekly trying to hit on them, and filter it down to the confident badasses who aren't afraid of some plastic. That plan kinda backfires if your headphones make you look like a space alien or an ipod commercial. The specific look of the headphones depends on your style. Big huge headphones can work well for guys, take a look at the music video of "Sandstorm" by Darude to see an example of this. But it depends on your style. For some guys, smaller more elegant headphones are key. Make sure the cord/earpiece color doesn't clash TOO badly with your clothes or, again, ipod commercial. One strategy that works for some guys is to have matching shoes/belt/accessories/headphone/cord and have the shirt/pants be different. If all else fails, go to a mall and ask at least 10 people of the opposite sex for their sincere opinion.
My personal headphones right now are the KOSS UR-40 model. They're light as a feather and so comfortable I can hardly tell they're on. They have decent noise cancellation, I took them to a physics lab for testing and they came out as 83% Black Headphone. They include a kind of headband type thing instead of the usual boring plastic, it's hard to describe so I won't even try, but suffice it to say, these headphones are S.E.X.Y. However, all that said, they're just temporary and I wouldn't recommend them to you, cuz they have no built in volume control. A fatal flaw! which means my quest for the perfect headphones will continue.
Socrates once said, "Noone really knows anything for certain, but at least we can enjoy good headphones". It's a little known fact, but Socrates used Sony headphones. In fact in his "Conversations", Plato writes about how Socrates listened to some gothic death metal when they executed him with hemlock, "and as those sublime ear devices pumped the music into his ears, a profound smile of contentment lighted on his face."
HISTORY AND TRIVIA
Headphones were invented in the year 900 BC by the famous Cretian scientist Daedalus. They were spread around the world by the explorer MArco Polo. The period just after the sack of Constantinople has been called "the dark age of headphones" because the barbarian rule ushered in a general shortage of the precious devices. Headphones are referenced 63 times in The Bible.
May the power of the Glow guide your path to the perfect pair of headphones just right for you.
Written by Glowing Face Man
Here are some other articles I've written:
The Two Types of Music
The Sound of Your Native Tongue
Typing Faster in T9Word
Posts
0 comments:
Post a Comment